Silence can kill.

In response to- Weekly Writing Challenge: The Sound of Silence

Silence is much more powerful than words. It can be negative or positive. I don’t share this with many people but, the times that I have, it’s helped quite a bit to talk about it. So, here’s my story.
I got married when I was 18 to a man whom I thought was perfect. He was intelligent, sweet and cute The whole time we dated. I saw a few red flags here and there with the way he acted and spoke but, I thought I loved him so, I shrugged them off. After we got married things went sour fast. The abuse started out verbal, calling me names, embarrassing me in public, making me feel terrible about myself. Then, it escalated into physical abuse.
Every time he would physically assault me, I would remain silent as far as yelling, crying and fighting back. I didn’t want him to see any weakness in me. I also didn’t tell anyone about what was going on. I was too afraid he would severely hurt me or my family. My family still doesn’t know the extent of the abuse I went through. It just isn’t something I tell people. We are divorced now, and I’ve moved on. My current husband is incredible and would never hurt me in any way.
I know I shouldn’t blame myself or think about all the ‘What-ifs’ but, I think that if I broke my silence and told someone about what he was doing, things would have improved much quicker. I hear everyone say in response to the subject of domestic abuse, “well, why doesn’t she just leave? Why doesn’t she TELL someone?” It’s not that simple. You don’t just leave someone who says if you try and leave, they’ll kill you. It takes a lot. In my case, it took a stranger who heard him screaming at me and hitting me, to call the police and give me the strength and motivation I needed to get away from him. He was arrested and I got a 3-year restraining order and I moved far away.

Silence is powerful. It can hold you back and ruin everything OR it can free you and improve your life. My story shows the impact of silence both in a negative and positive light.

If anyone reading this is in a relationship even remotely similar to how mine was, get out. I know it’s hard, but call someone you trust, leave him or her. Please.

Or contact the National Domestic Abuse Hotline online at or call them at 1-800-799-7233


Stop Saying “That’s So Gay!”: 6 Types of Microaggressions That Harm LGBTQ People

Psychology Benefits Society

Sad Asian teenage boy

By Kevin L. Nadal, PhD (Associate Professor of Psychology, John Jay
College of Criminal Justice – City University of New York)

When I was a little kid, I used to hear my brothers, cousins, and friends say things like “That’s so gay!” on a pretty regular basis. I would usually laugh along, hoping with all my might that they didn’t know my secret.  My parents and other adults in my life would tell me things like “Boys don’t cry” or “Be a man!” which essentially was their way of telling me that being emotional was forbidden or a sign of weakness.

When I was a teenager, there were a few boys at my high school who ridiculed me, almost everyday. When I walked by them in the halls, they called me a “faggot” or screamed my name in a flamboyant tone.  I learned to walk by without…

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Anarchy in the U.S.A? Yeah, right.

We’ve all seen them. The stereotypical ‘rebels’ yelling about ‘fighting the system’ and how much they hate the government. Self-proclaimed ‘Anarchists’. What that group of people fails to realize is how ridiculous they really are. I mean, yay, no pesky government breathing down my neck! How can that not be bliss? Anarchy cannot exist in today’s society. It’s not possible. Let’s go over the reasons why it can’t.
Let’s say Anarchists had their way and the government was overthrown. Now, it’s chaos and the murderers, rapists, violent gang members and pedophiles are released into the general public, the military disbands, food, weapon and medicine production ceases (Yeah, never thought about that, did you?) and it’s every man for himself, so-to-speak. If you aren’t a doctor or have medical training, you will get sick. If you can’t disassemble and properly clean a rifle and make your own ammunition, you’ve got no defense. If you don’t have the means to make your own food, you will starve.
Being realistic, small (or large) communities of equally qualified individuals would form. For example, the now ex-military would stick together. Now, when your average American man and wife need protection from the violent, gang members who just decided to murder their neighbors and take their house, who do you think they would contact? Exactly, the people with the assault rifles and military training. Now that there’s a group that’s looked up to this much and needed, it’s not real anarchy anymore because they are the government. Then, this gives the opportunity for a dictator to rise up and take power. Then, someone decides “Hey, I’m not okay with this” and the people revolt, and a Republic is put in place and it’s back to the way it was pre-Anarchy.

Society functions semi-orderly because of morality, laws and services. If these things are removed, we wouldn’t know how to go about living. We would inevitably have a government. Chaos isn’t a good thing. Stop complaining and take action if you don’t like how things are going.

Real women build each other up

So, I’m not a “feminist” or any real variation of that label. However, I do want to make posts once in a while that touch on some of the issues that women face.
EVERY DAY I see posts on Twitter and Facebook where some woman/girl is calling a fellow woman a “whore”, “slut”, “skank” or “hoe” among various other sexually based insults. 9 times out of 10, these insults are used generically as a quick response in a conflict and have nothing to do with sex or that woman’s personality which is honestly more disturbing than calling someone a name like that because of their sex life. Sex is natural. Why do people harass others for doing something so natural? Plus, hey, sex feels good. You wouldn’t insult another woman for eating food they like, or getting their nails done, right? Those things make you feel good. So does sex! Crazy right?
First off, why do women even use these words in the first place to insult each other? We use these insults way too much. We wouldn’t let a man call us that, and we wouldn’t call a man that, so why use it on each other? Makes NO sense.
Bullying is too common and people never know the extent of the damage they cause with words. The next time you’re about to call someone a “whore” or “slut” how about you think of how you’d feel if that person hurt or killed them self? Honestly, how would you feel? Don’t pull that tough-girl act and pretend you’d be perfectly fine with it because, if that’s honestly how you feel, you need psychiatric help.
Women are under enough stress in today’s society as it is without adding the additional stress of the scrutiny and criticism of fellow women. We are under pressure to be way too skinny, flawless skin, huge breasts, lots of friends, and other impossible superficial standards placed upon us by the media. Don’t get me wrong, men have their fair share of impossible standards they’re supposed to live up to as well but, in all reality women really do have it worse.

So ladies, let’s try and build each other up a bit more instead of tearing each other down. ❤

As a metalhead…

As a metalhead, I find it not only obnoxious but, immature that all too often I see fellow metalheads using the word “poser” and verbally attacking other metalheads over their taste in music. Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I’m guilty of internally judging someone based on their music taste and style of clothing, internally deeming it ‘not brutal enough’. However, I think we, as metalheads, are too quick to bash someone because we think their eclectic taste in music or clothing doesn’t fit the stereotypical metal look. Why can’t we just be happy that metal is becoming more accepted by the general public? When I was growing up, I got bullied SO BAD for going to school dressed in a Cannibal Corpse shirt and black pants with way too much black eyeliner. Nobody liked the goths, metalheads and punks then. Now, even the label “nerd” is a generally accepted compliment! All this “you’re not metal enough” nonsense needs to stop. Calm down, get in the pit and scream. Stop bashing everyone. Celebrate diversity. Be happy that you’re not as much of an outcast as you once were.